By the end of the lesson, you will be able to:
- Differentiate between loving and unloving touch through real-life examples.
- Explain the importance of recognizing and respecting appropriate physical touch in various settings.
- Demonstrate awareness by identifying situations that require setting boundaries against unloving touch.
- Touch – physical contact between people.
- Loving Touch – physical contact that shows care, affection, or respect.
- Unloving Touch – inappropriate or unwanted physical contact that causes discomfort or harm.
- Boundary – the personal limits we set for how others can treat us.
- Consent – permission given willingly for physical contact.
Activity: Matching Boundaries
Match the description with the correct type of personal boundary.
- Protects your emotional well-being
- Protects your personal belongings
- Allowing others through verbal agreement
- Protects your personal space
- The limit you set to create comfort within yourself
Show Answer
- Emotional boundary
- Material boundary
- Consent
- Physical boundary
- Personal boundary
Introduction
Imagine this: You are walking home from school. A close friend greets you with a high five, and you feel happy. But a stranger suddenly pats your back without asking, and you feel uneasy. Both actions involved touch, but the effect on you was completely different.
This is the heart of our lesson today — understanding the concept of loving and unloving touch.
Touch is a natural part of human communication. Babies feel secure when parents hold them. Friends express closeness through hugs or fist bumps. Families bond through affectionate gestures. But not all touches are positive. Some touches may cause discomfort, harm, or even trauma.
That is why it is important for us, especially as teenagers, to clearly understand:
- What makes a touch loving?
- What makes a touch unloving?
- How do we protect ourselves through boundaries and consent?
Section 1: What is Touch?
Touch is one of our five senses. It allows us to feel the world around us through physical contact. Touch can be gentle, firm, warm, or cold. But when we talk about human relationships, touch is more than just a physical sensation — it is also an emotional message.
For example:
- A hug from a parent says “I love you.”
- A handshake says “Nice to meet you.”
- A playful tap on the shoulder says “Good job!”
But sometimes touch can feel uncomfortable:
- A push may signal aggression.
- An unwanted hug may feel disrespectful.
- A stranger’s touch may feel unsafe.
Guiding Question: Why do you think the same action (like a hug) can feel good in one situation but uncomfortable in another?
Show Answer
It depends on the relationship, intention, and consent. A hug from someone you trust is loving, but the same hug from a stranger may feel unloving.Mini-Summary 1: Touch communicates emotions. But whether it feels safe or unsafe depends on intention, relationship, and consent.
Section 2: Loving Touch
Loving touch is any physical contact that makes you feel safe, respected, and cared for. It comes from genuine affection, support, or encouragement.
Characteristics of Loving Touch:
- It respects your boundaries.
- It is consensual (you are comfortable with it).
- It makes you feel valued and secure.
- It usually comes from people you trust.
Examples of Loving Touch:
- Parents hugging you after a long day.
- A friend patting your back after a successful game.
- Siblings holding hands while crossing the street.
- A teacher giving you a fist bump for good work.
Guiding Question: Think of a time when someone’s touch made you feel loved and respected. What was the situation?
Show Answer
Answers will vary, but examples include: A warm hug from mom after exams, a high five from a teammate, or a supportive pat from a coach.Mini-Summary 2: Loving touch is positive, respectful, and caring. It strengthens relationships and gives emotional support.
Section 3: Unloving Touch
Unloving touch is physical contact that causes discomfort, disrespect, or harm. It ignores boundaries, lacks consent, or is done with negative intention.
Characteristics of Unloving Touch:
- It crosses personal boundaries.
- It is not consensual (you didn’t allow it).
- It makes you feel uncomfortable, unsafe, or disrespected.
- It may involve force or manipulation.
Examples of Unloving Touch:
- A stranger touching your waist in a jeepney.
- A classmate pushing you during a game.
- An unwanted hug or kiss from someone you don’t trust.
- A peer holding your hand without your permission.
Guiding Question: How do you feel when someone touches you without asking?
Show Answer
Answers may vary, but common feelings include discomfort, anger, embarrassment, or fear.Mini-Summary 3: Unloving touch is negative, uncomfortable, and disrespectful. It ignores your rights to safety and consent.
Section 4: Boundaries and Consent
What are Boundaries? Boundaries are personal limits we set to protect ourselves physically and emotionally. They help others know how to treat us.
- Physical Boundaries: Your personal space and comfort zone.
- Emotional Boundaries: Your feelings and mental space.
What is Consent? Consent means giving permission willingly. In terms of touch, it means agreeing to physical contact without pressure.
Example:
- If a friend asks, “Can I hug you?” and you say yes, that’s consent.
- If you say no and they hug you anyway, that’s a violation of consent.
Guiding Question: Why do you think asking for consent is important before physical contact?
Show Answer
It shows respect, ensures comfort, and prevents harm. Consent protects both people by making sure touch is welcome.Mini-Summary 4: Boundaries and consent protect us from unloving touch. Respecting them is key to healthy, safe relationships.
Section 5: Comparing Loving and Unloving Touch
| Aspect | Loving Touch | Unloving Touch |
|---|---|---|
| Consent | Given freely | Not given or forced |
| Emotion | Comfort, care, respect | Discomfort, fear, disrespect |
| Effect | Strengthens trust | Breaks trust |
| Example | Hug from a parent | Touch from a stranger |
Guiding Question: How does respecting boundaries turn a touch into a loving one?
Show Answer
Respecting boundaries ensures the other person feels safe and valued. Without respect, touch becomes unloving.Mini-Summary 5: The difference between loving and unloving touch lies in respect, consent, and intention.
Section 6: Real-World Applications
- In Sports
- Loving touch: high-fives, team huddles, supportive pats.
- Unloving touch: shoving, aggressive pushing.
- In School
- Loving touch: fist bumps, linking arms with friends.
- Unloving touch: bullying through pinching or hitting.
- In Family
- Loving touch: hugs, kisses from trusted family members.
- Unloving touch: forced hugs or unexpected touches.
Mini-Summary 6: Touch exists everywhere — in sports, school, and family. Recognizing which touch is loving or unloving helps protect us and improve relationships.
Section 7: Reflection and Awareness
Activity: Think-Pair-Share (self-learning version)
- Recall a moment of loving touch that made you feel safe.
- Recall a moment of unloving touch that made you uncomfortable.
- Write how you can respond or set boundaries in each case.
Guiding Question: How can you politely stop unloving touch without offending someone?
Show Answer
You can say clearly but politely: “I’m not comfortable with that.” or “Please don’t touch me that way.”References
- Pataky, C. (2023, September 27). Understanding and Respecting Boundaries: 9 Tips for Honoring Others’ Limits in Relationships. Love Discovery Institute.
- Tea and Consent (YouTube short explainer).
- DepEd MATATAG Curriculum Pilot Exemplar (2024–2025).
Worked Example 1
Scenario: Maria hugs her best friend after a successful group presentation.
Step 1: Identify the type of touch.
Step 2: Ask: Was it consensual? Did it show care and respect?
Step 3: Conclude if it is loving or unloving.
Show Answer
Loving touch — It was friendly, consensual, and showed appreciation.Worked Example 2
Scenario: A stranger in a jeepney touches Carlo’s shoulder without asking.
Step 1: Identify the touch.
Step 2: Check for consent and comfort.
Step 3: Decide if loving or unloving.
Show Answer
Unloving touch — Carlo did not give consent and the stranger crossed his personal boundary.Worked Example 3
Scenario: A coach pats his player on the back and says “Good job!” after a game.
Step 1: Look at intention.
Step 2: Was it respectful and encouraging?
Step 3: Decide type of touch.
Show Answer
Loving touch — It encouraged the player and showed support.Worked Example 4
Scenario: An uncle suddenly kisses Ana’s cheek without asking, even if she looks uncomfortable.
Step 1: Identify the touch.
Step 2: Did Ana consent?
Step 3: Decide if respectful or not.
Show Answer
Unloving touch — No consent was given and Ana was uncomfortable.Worked Example 5
Scenario: Two classmates hold hands while crossing the street, and both feel safe.
Step 1: Analyze comfort level.
Step 2: Did both agree?
Step 3: Decide type of touch.
Show Answer
Loving touch — Both classmates agreed and the touch provided safety.Now You Try
Task 1: Your cousin hugs you when you meet at a family gathering. Loving or unloving?
Show Answer
Loving touch — If you feel comfortable and safe with the hug.Task 2: A classmate pulls your hair as a joke. Loving or unloving?
Show Answer
Unloving touch — It causes discomfort and shows lack of respect.Task 3: A friend gives you a fist bump before the exam. Loving or unloving?
Show Answer
Loving touch — It encourages you and shows support.Task 4: A stranger grabs your hand while walking. Loving or unloving?
Show Answer
Unloving touch — No consent, unsafe, and disrespectful.Task 5: Your sibling gently pats your back when you’re sad. Loving or unloving?
Show Answer
Loving touch — It provides comfort and care.- Teacher gives you a thumbs-up and pats your shoulder after your presentation. Loving or unloving?
Show Answer
Loving touch — It is respectful, encouraging, and consensual. - A classmate suddenly pokes you repeatedly during a lecture. Loving or unloving?
Show Answer
Unloving touch — It causes irritation and invades personal space. - A close friend hugs you after winning a group competition. Loving or unloving?
Show Answer
Loving touch — It expresses joy, support, and friendship. - A stranger taps your back hard in a crowded bus. Loving or unloving?
Show Answer
Unloving touch — No consent, unexpected, and uncomfortable. - Your grandmother holds your hand while walking together. Loving or unloving?
Show Answer
Loving touch — It provides safety and affection. - A classmate slaps you jokingly on the arm. Loving or unloving?
Show Answer
Unloving touch — Even if “joking,” it causes discomfort and shows disrespect. - Your sibling hugs you when you’re crying. Loving or unloving?
Show Answer
Loving touch — It comforts you and shows care. - A schoolmate pulls your bag strap without asking. Loving or unloving?
Show Answer
Unloving touch — It invades your personal boundary. - A parent kisses you on the forehead before leaving home. Loving or unloving?
Show Answer
Loving touch — It expresses care, respect, and affection. - A stranger suddenly grabs your wrist to get your attention. Loving or unloving?
Show Answer
Unloving touch — It is unwanted and may cause fear.
Part A: Conceptual (Multiple Choice)
- Which of the following best describes a loving touch?
a. It ignores personal boundaries.
b. It is done without consent.
c. It makes you feel safe and respected.
d. It causes discomfort.Show Answer
c. It makes you feel safe and respected. - What is the key difference between loving and unloving touch?
a. The age of the person touching
b. The type of touch itself
c. The presence of respect and consent
d. The location where the touch happensShow Answer
c. The presence of respect and consent - Which situation requires consent the most?
a. Hugging a close friend who already expects it
b. Holding hands with your sibling while crossing the street
c. Giving a high five to a teammate
d. Hugging a classmate who may not want itShow Answer
d. Hugging a classmate who may not want it - Which of these is an example of unloving touch?
a. Your mother kisses your forehead before bed.
b. A friend fist-bumps you after practice.
c. A stranger grabs your shoulder without asking.
d. A coach pats you on the back after a good play.Show Answer
c. A stranger grabs your shoulder without asking. - Which principle is MOST important in preventing unloving touch?
a. Respecting boundaries and seeking consent
b. Ignoring how others feel about touch
c. Showing affection no matter the situation
d. Avoiding all physical contact at all timesShow Answer
a. Respecting boundaries and seeking consent
Part B: Identification
- It refers to permission willingly given for physical contact.
Show Answer
Consent - This type of touch provides comfort, care, and respect.
Show Answer
Loving touch - This type of touch invades personal space and makes someone uncomfortable.
Show Answer
Unloving touch - These are personal limits we set to protect our safety and comfort.
Show Answer
Boundaries - This kind of boundary protects your emotional well-being.
Show Answer
Emotional boundary
Part C: Application (Situational)
- Scenario: A teammate hugs you after scoring a goal, and you are comfortable with it. Loving or unloving?
Show Answer
Loving touch — It is supportive, consensual, and respectful. - Scenario: A cousin hugs you suddenly even though you feel uncomfortable. Loving or unloving?
Show Answer
Unloving touch — It ignores your boundary and comfort. - Scenario: A stranger bumps into you in a crowded hallway and pats your arm to apologize. Loving or unloving?
Show Answer
It can be neutral or unloving depending on comfort. If you feel uncomfortable, it is unloving. - Scenario: Your sibling gently pats your back when you’re upset. Loving or unloving?
Show Answer
Loving touch — It provides care and comfort. - Scenario: A classmate pushes you during recess as a joke, but it hurts you. Loving or unloving?
Show Answer
Unloving touch — It causes harm and shows disrespect.
Extension Activity 1: Role Play Awareness
Create a short role play with a partner (or imagine one) showing a situation of both loving and unloving touch. Reflect on how each made you feel.
Show Guidance
Loving touch example: A high five after teamwork. Unloving touch example: A shove without consent. Reflection: Loving touch builds trust; unloving touch causes discomfort.Extension Activity 2: Boundary Journal
Write down three personal boundaries you want others to respect. Then write how you can politely communicate them.
Show Guidance
Examples: “I don’t like being tickled.” — “I prefer handshakes over hugs.” — “Please don’t touch my bag.”Extension Activity 3: Media Analysis
Watch a TV show, movie, or online video. Identify one instance of loving touch and one of unloving touch.
Show Guidance
Loving touch: Parents hugging a child in encouragement. Unloving touch: Character being grabbed without consent.Extension Activity 4: Consent Poster
Design a poster that promotes the message: “Respect My YES, Respect My NO.”
Show Guidance
Include clear slogans like: “Consent is respect.” and “Love respects boundaries.”Extension Activity 5: Interview a Family Member
Ask a parent or older sibling: “What does respectful touch mean to you?” Compare their answer to what you learned in class.
Show Guidance
Responses may include: safety, love, comfort, or the importance of asking permission.Task: Use the 3-2-1 Reflection Method. Write your answers in your notebook.
- 3 things you learned about loving and unloving touch.
- 2 situations where you can apply this knowledge in real life.
- 1 commitment you will make to respect others’ boundaries.
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