By the end of the lesson, you will be able to:
- Describe different ways of managing personal boundaries in various situations.
- Apply strategies to handle challenges when others cross personal boundaries.
- Demonstrate respectful communication in maintaining personal boundaries with peers, family, and the community.
- Boundary Management – the ability to set, communicate, and maintain personal boundaries.
- Assertiveness – expressing your needs and rights respectfully and confidently.
- Compromise – finding a middle ground while still respecting personal boundaries.
- Respectful Communication – sharing thoughts and feelings in a polite and clear way.
- Conflict Resolution – solving disagreements while protecting boundaries.
Activity: Multiple Choice – Choose the best answer.
- Which boundary protects your personal space and body?
a. Emotional boundary b. Physical boundary c. Time boundary d. Material boundary - Saying “no” to a classmate who wants to copy your homework shows enforcement of which boundary?
a. Time boundary b. Academic boundary c. Emotional boundary d. Material boundary - Respecting others’ belongings is part of what type of boundary?
a. Emotional boundary b. Time boundary c. Material boundary d. Physical boundary - Which of these is a polite way of enforcing boundaries?
a. Shouting until others listen b. Staying silent to avoid conflict c. Politely but firmly saying “no” d. Ignoring the problem - Boundaries protect what two important things in relationships?
a. Respect and safety b. Money and time c. Power and control d. Rules and punishment
Show Answer
- b. Physical boundary
- b. Academic boundary
- c. Material boundary
- c. Politely but firmly saying “no”
- a. Respect and safety
Introduction
Managing personal boundaries means using practical skills to protect your comfort and respect while also honoring the limits of others. In this lesson you will learn how to balance assertiveness, flexibility, respectful communication, and conflict resolution so you can handle everyday situations at home, school, in sports, and in your community.
Section 1: What Is Boundary Management?
Boundary Management is the ability to set, communicate, and maintain your personal limits while respecting others. Think of it like steering a boat: if you let the current (others’ demands) drag you, you drift; if you push too hard, you bump into others. Balance is the goal.
- Know Your Limits – Notice what feels comfortable or not.
- Communicate Clearly – Say what you need honestly and politely.
- Be Assertive – Stand firm without being aggressive.
- Be Flexible – Compromise when possible without harming your values.
- Respect Others’ Boundaries – Treat others’ limits as you want yours treated.
Guiding Question: Why is balance important in managing boundaries?
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Balance avoids extremes — if you are too strict, you may push people away; if you are too weak, people may take advantage of you.Mini-Summary 1: Boundary management is balancing self-protection with respect for others.
Section 2: Assertiveness in Managing Boundaries
Assertiveness expresses your needs with confidence and respect. It differs from aggressiveness (forcing your way) and passiveness (staying silent).
| Passive | Assertive | Aggressive |
|---|---|---|
| “Okay, even if I’m not comfortable.” | “Please ask before borrowing my notebook.” | “Stop touching my things!” |
Guiding Question: Why is assertiveness better than aggressiveness?
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Because it communicates needs clearly without disrespecting others.Mini-Summary 2: Assertiveness enforces boundaries politely but firmly.
Section 3: Compromise and Flexibility
Compromise finds a middle ground where both sides keep dignity and safety.
- Family: Study for an hour first, then watch TV together.
- Sports: Attend practice but shorten the session when rest is needed.
Guiding Question: When is compromise useful, and when is it harmful?
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Useful when both adjust without harm; harmful if it forces you to ignore core values or safety.Mini-Summary 3: Compromise works when respect remains on both sides.
Section 4: Respectful Communication
- Use “I” statements: “I feel uncomfortable when you sit too close.”
- Stay calm; keep your tone steady.
- Be clear and direct.
- Listen to the other person.
Guiding Question: Why are “I” statements effective?
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They express feelings without blaming, which lowers defensiveness.Mini-Summary 4: Calm, clear, “I”-focused language keeps talks respectful.
Section 5: Conflict Resolution and Boundaries
- Identify the problem.
- State your boundary politely.
- Listen to the other side.
- Find a fair solution.
Example (Group Work): “We appreciate your ideas, but we’d like to share ours too. Let’s divide tasks so everyone contributes.”
Guiding Question: What happens when one person always ignores others’ boundaries?
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It causes resentment, weakens teamwork, and harms relationships.Mini-Summary 5: Conflict resolution protects boundaries and strengthens teamwork.
Section 6: Challenges in Managing Boundaries
- Peer Pressure
- Fear of Rejection
- Cultural Expectations
- Low Confidence
Guiding Question: Which challenge is hardest for you, and why?
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Answers vary; many struggle with peer pressure or shyness.Mini-Summary 6: Challenges exist, but practice grows confidence.
Section 7: Benefits of Managing Boundaries
- Builds mutual respect
- Strengthens friendships and family ties
- Reduces conflict and misunderstandings
- Improves confidence and security
- Promotes fairness and harmony
Guiding Question: How does boundary management improve group work?
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It ensures participation, fairness, and effective teamwork.Mini-Summary 7: Managing boundaries leads to harmony and confidence.
Section 8: Case Study (Liza)
Liza lets classmates copy her homework because she fears rejection. She feels drained. She practices assertiveness: “I can explain, but I won’t let you copy.” Her peers respect her more, and she gains confidence.
Guiding Question: What can we learn from Liza?
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Enforcing and managing boundaries earns respect and prevents misuse.References
- DepEd MATATAG Curriculum Pilot Exemplar (2024–2025).
- Townsend, B. (2021). The Importance of Boundaries in Healthy Relationships. Psychology Today.
- Pataky, C. (2023). Understanding and Respecting Boundaries. Love Discovery Institute.
Worked Example 1
Scenario: A classmate wants to copy your test answers.
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Boundary: Academic boundary. Response: “I can’t give my answers. But I can help you review after the test.”Worked Example 2
Scenario: Your teammate dominates the ball in practice.
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Boundary: Fairness in teamwork. Response: “We all need to practice. Can we pass the ball more so everyone gets a turn?”Worked Example 3
Scenario: Your sibling enters your room without knocking.
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Boundary: Personal space. Response: “Please knock before coming in so I can be ready.”Worked Example 4
Scenario: A friend teases you about your weight.
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Boundary: Emotional boundary. Response: “I don’t like jokes about my weight. Please stop.”Worked Example 5
Scenario: Your project partner makes all decisions.
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Boundary: Equal participation. Response: “We should all share ideas. Let’s divide tasks fairly so everyone contributes.”Now You Try
Task 1: Friend keeps borrowing your phone to play games.
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“Please ask first. I don’t like people using my phone without permission.”Task 2: Cousin invites you out but you need to study.
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“I’ll join later. I need to finish schoolwork first.”Task 3: Classmate jokes about your accent.
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“I don’t like those jokes. Please respect the way I speak.”Task 4: Neighbor returns your bike late.
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“Please return my bike right after borrowing it. I also need to use it.”Task 5: Teammate pressures you to skip class.
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“I can’t skip class. School comes first. Let’s practice after lessons.”- Your seatmate keeps asking to copy your notes during class. How do you manage this boundary?
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“I can explain the lesson later, but I don’t want to share my notes during class.” - A teammate shouts at you when you make mistakes. What should you do?
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“I don’t like being shouted at. Please correct me calmly so I can improve.” - Your friend insists on using your laptop without asking. What boundary is crossed and how do you respond?
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Material boundary. “Please ask before using my laptop. It contains my personal files.” - Your sibling plays loud music while you review. How do you handle this?
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“Please lower the volume. I need quiet time to concentrate on my exam.” - A classmate interrupts you during group work. How do you manage this?
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“Please let me finish speaking before you share your ideas.” - Your cousin mocks your handwriting. What boundary is crossed, and what should you say?
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Emotional boundary. “I don’t like jokes about my handwriting. Please stop.” - Your neighbor asks you to run errands while you have homework. How do you respond?
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“I can’t do it now, I have homework. Maybe later when I’m free.” - Your group partner takes credit for your work. How do you enforce fairness?
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“I worked on that part. Please give credit fairly for everyone’s contribution.” - Your friend pressures you to reveal a secret. What should you say?
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“I’m not comfortable sharing that. Please respect my privacy.” - A stranger leans on you in a jeepney though there’s space. What action should you take?
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Politely move away or say, “Can you please give me more space?”
Part A: Conceptual (Multiple Choice)
- What does boundary management mean?
a. Forcing others to follow your rules b. Balancing your needs while respecting others c. Avoiding responsibility d. Ignoring limitsShow Answer
b. Balancing your needs while respecting others - Which is the best example of assertiveness?
a. “I’m always right.” b. “Take my things even if I don’t want to.” c. “Please ask before using my things.” d. Stay silentShow Answer
c. “Please ask before using my things.” - Which statement shows compromise?
a. “We’ll take turns studying and watching TV.” b. “It’s my way.” c. “You always decide.” d. “I won’t listen.”Show Answer
a. “We’ll take turns studying and watching TV.” - Which boundary is crossed when someone keeps interrupting you?
a. Emotional b. Time c. Respect/communication d. MaterialShow Answer
c. Respect/communication boundary - Which is an example of respectful communication?
a. “You’re always wrong.” b. “I feel uncomfortable when you sit too close.” c. “You never respect me.” d. Silent treatmentShow Answer
b. “I feel uncomfortable when you sit too close.”
Part B: Identification
- Expressing needs confidently and respectfully without being aggressive.
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Assertiveness - Solving disagreements while protecting each other’s boundaries.
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Conflict resolution - Adjusting so both sides are satisfied without violating core values.
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Compromise - “Please knock before entering my room” shows what boundary?
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Physical/personal space boundary - A polite way of stating needs using “I feel / I prefer.”
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“I” statements
Part C: Application (Situational)
- Your best friend pressures you to share a secret. How do you manage this boundary?
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“I’m not comfortable sharing that right now. Please respect my privacy.” - A groupmate decides tasks for everyone without listening. What should you say?
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“We should all share ideas and divide tasks fairly.” - Your cousin borrows your clothes without asking. What boundary is crossed and how do you respond?
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Material boundary. “Please ask permission before using my clothes.” - A teammate criticizes you harshly every mistake. How can you enforce your boundary respectfully?
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“I don’t like being criticized that way. Please give feedback more calmly.” - A stranger touches your bag without permission. What should you do?
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Move away or say, “Please don’t touch my bag.”
Extension Activity 1: Boundary Role Play – practice assertive responses in a borrowing-money scenario.
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“I can’t lend money anymore. Please bring your own.”Extension Activity 2: Family Reflection – ask guardians how boundaries work at home.
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Examples: privacy, curfews, quiet study times.Extension Activity 3: Poster Design – theme: “Respect My Boundaries, Respect Me.”
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Sample slogans: “Respect starts with space.” “Say it, mean it, respect it.”Extension Activity 4: Journal Writing – write a time you managed a boundary and how it felt.
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Feelings: relief, respect, confidence.Extension Activity 5: Media Analysis – identify a character who enforced a boundary and its effect on the story.
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Example: a character says “No” to peer pressure, showing self-respect.Task: Use the 3-2-1 Reflection Method in your notebook.
- 3 things I learned today about managing personal boundaries.
- 2 challenges I face when trying to manage my own boundaries.
- 1 step I will practice this week to improve my boundary management.
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