What you’ll learn today

Conversations are not random. Skilled speakers make moves that keep the talk clear, smooth, and respectful. Those moves are called conversation strategies. But even a good strategy can sound rude if your tone is harsh or your words are too direct. That’s why we also use politeness markers—short expressions that soften your message and protect relationships.

Conversation strategies

These are the moves you use to manage the flow of talk and meaning: taking turns, asking questions, clarifying, paraphrasing, summarizing, agreeing, disagreeing politely, and more.

Think: “What do I do next to keep the conversation going and make it clearer?”

Politeness markers

These are short words/phrases that show respect and reduce conflict: please, excuse me, sorry, may I, if it’s okay, thank you, I appreciate, and similar expressions.

Think: “How do I say this so it’s acceptable and respectful?”

Today’s goal is not memorization. It’s control. By the end, you should be able to choose a strategy on purpose and pair it with polite language that fits the situation.

Learning targets (what you should be able to do)

  1. Explain what at least 8 conversation strategies are meant to achieve.
  2. Write realistic sample lines for those strategies using appropriate politeness markers.
  3. Create a complete Strategy–Politeness Map (your main output today).
  4. Perform a short micro-dialogue using at least 3 strategies plus politeness markers.
Recommendation: Aim for natural language, not “robot polite.” Politeness markers should sound normal in real talk—not forced or exaggerated.

Before you start: The “Function First” rule

Many students learn strategies by copying lines. That helps, but it’s not enough. A stronger approach is to learn the function first. When you know what the strategy is for, you can create your own lines in any topic.

Step 1

Name the strategy. (Example: asking for clarification)

Step 2

State its purpose. “It helps avoid misunderstanding.”

Step 3

Write a polite line that does the job.

If you can explain the purpose, you can use the strategy anywhere: school, interviews, group work, debates, and real conversations.

Strategy list for today (choose at least 8)

Use this list as your “menu.” You will map at least eight strategies, but you can map more. The best students map 10 because it makes Day 4 role-play easier.

Turn-taking Active listening Giving feedback Asking questions Asking follow-up questions Asking for clarification Asking for repetition Paraphrasing Summarizing Showing agreement Disagreeing politely Interrupting politely Shifting topic smoothly Repairing misunderstanding
Recommendation: Always include these “high-impact” strategies in your 8: turn-taking, asking for clarification, summarizing, and disagreeing politely. They prevent conflicts and improve clarity fast.

Politeness marker bank (use what fits)

Politeness markers are not “extra.” They are tools for tone control. Choose markers that match the situation: formal (school presentation), neutral (class talk), or friendly (groupmates).

Permission & soft entry

  • May I ask…
  • If it’s okay, I’d like to…
  • Would you mind…
  • Can I jump in for a second?

Apology & repair

  • Sorry, I might have misunderstood…
  • I’m sorry to interrupt…
  • My bad—let me clarify…
  • Sorry, can you say that again?

Respect & disagreement

  • I see your point.
  • That’s a fair point; however…
  • I respect that, but I think…
  • Another way to look at it is…

Gratitude & positive tone

  • Thank you for explaining.
  • I appreciate your idea.
  • That’s helpful—thanks.
  • Thanks for clarifying.

Use these as a starting point. You can also add markers you observed from the talk show or real conversations.

Model mapping (two complete examples)

Example 1: Interrupting politely

Strategy
Interrupting politely
Purpose
To join the conversation without sounding rude; to add an important point or clarify a misunderstanding.
Politeness markers
“Excuse me…”, “Sorry to interrupt…”, “If I may add…”, “May I clarify…”
Sample lines
  • Sorry to interrupt, but may I clarify what you meant by “effective”?
  • Excuse me, can I add one point before we move on?
Non-verbal support
Raise your hand slightly, wait for a pause, calm tone, respectful eye contact.
Recommendation: Interrupting is not automatically bad. The problem is interrupting with a harsh tone or without permission markers. Use a soft entry, then be brief.

Example 2: Asking for clarification

Strategy
Asking for clarification
Purpose
To prevent misunderstanding by requesting more specific meaning, details, or examples.
Politeness markers
“Sorry, I’m not sure I understood…”, “Could you clarify…?”, “If you don’t mind, can you explain…?”
Sample lines
  • Sorry, can you clarify what you mean by “responsible use”?
  • If you don’t mind, could you explain that in a simpler way?
Non-verbal support
Lean slightly forward, nod, keep voice curious (not accusing).
Recommendation: Clarification should sound curious, not challenging. Your goal is understanding, not “proving someone wrong.”

Main task: Create your Strategy–Politeness Map

This is your main output today. You will build a map that connects strategies to polite language. You may do it individually or with a partner, depending on your class setup.

Step-by-step instructions

  1. Choose at least 8 strategies from the Strategy list above. If you want an advantage for Day 4, choose 10.
  2. For each strategy, write its purpose in your own words. Avoid copying; explain it like you’re teaching a friend.
  3. Add 2 sample lines per strategy:
    • one that sounds too direct or risky
    • one improved line with politeness markers
  4. Write 2–4 politeness markers that fit the strategy. Choose markers that match the purpose.
  5. Add a tone/non-verbal note (optional but recommended): calm voice, nodding, pausing, etc.
Recommendation: Your improved lines should sound real. If your line sounds like a speech competition, simplify it. Natural lines are stronger than fancy lines.
Copy-ready Map Template (you can copy to your notebook)
Strategy
Purpose (What it does)
Sample Line A (too direct/risky)
Sample Line B (improved + polite)
Politeness Markers (2–4)
Tone/Non-verbal (optional)
________________
________________
________________
________________
________________
________________
________________
________________
________________
________________
________________
________________
________________
________________
________________
________________
________________
________________

Tip: If your notebook space is small, shorten it to 4 columns: Strategy | Purpose | Improved Line | Politeness Markers.

Deepening move: “Observed markers” inventory

Strong communicators don’t just invent polite phrases. They learn from real speech. Create a small list of politeness markers you have actually observed—either from a talk show clip, a classroom discussion, or real conversations. This helps your lines sound authentic.

How to do it (fast)

  1. Write down at least 10 politeness markers you observed or commonly hear.
  2. Group them into categories: permission, apology, gratitude, respectful disagreement.
  3. For each category, choose your top 2 that you can use naturally.
Recommendation: Don’t rely only on “please.” Real politeness uses variety: “if it’s okay,” “I appreciate,” “that’s a fair point,” “may I clarify,” and more.

Controlled practice: Micro-dialogue (the “3 Moves Challenge”)

Your map is useful only if you can apply it. You will write and practice a short dialogue using strategies + politeness markers. This prepares you for Day 4 talk show role-play.

Instructions

  1. Work with a partner (Host and Guest).
  2. Choose a topic that feels real and school-appropriate (examples below).
  3. Write a dialogue with 6–10 lines.
  4. Use at least 3 different strategies from your map.
  5. Use at least 3 politeness markers.
  6. Practice with correct tone, pauses, and turn-taking.

Topic prompts (choose one)

  • Host interviews a student about a personal achievement.
  • Guest explains a hobby and how they manage time.
  • Host asks about a school issue and possible solutions.
  • Guest shares a learning experience and advice to others.

Required “moves” set (recommended)

  • One follow-up question
  • One clarification request
  • One summarizing line at the end

This set forces clarity and a clean ending—exactly what strong talk shows do.

Sample micro-dialogue (for inspiration only)

Host: Good afternoon! Thank you for joining us. May I ask what achievement you’re most proud of this quarter?

Guest: Thank you for having me. I’m proud that I improved my grades by organizing my study schedule.

Host: That’s impressive. Could you clarify what “organizing” means in your daily routine?

Guest: Sure. I list tasks, set priorities, and study in short focused sessions.

Host: I see. That’s a fair point—short sessions can really work. If it’s okay, can you share one strategy that helped you stay consistent?

Guest: I used reminders and I studied with a friend to stay accountable.

Host: So, to summarize, you improved by planning tasks, using short sessions, and adding accountability. Thank you for sharing that.

Recommendation: In your performance, avoid three common problems: talking too fast, interrupting without soft entry, and ending without a summary.

Common mistakes (and how to fix them)

Mistake 1: “Polite words” but rude tone

Even if you say “please,” a sharp voice or eye-roll will still sound rude. Politeness is both language and delivery.

Fix: Slow down, soften your voice, maintain respectful expression, pause before reacting.

Mistake 2: Clarification that sounds like an attack

Some clarification questions sound accusatory: “What do you even mean?” That creates conflict and stops learning.

Fix: Use curiosity markers: “Sorry, I’m not sure I understood…” “Could you clarify…”

Mistake 3: Disagreeing like a debate (too aggressive)

Disagreement is normal. The problem is disrespect. When you disagree harshly, you damage relationships and people stop listening.

Fix: Use respect + alternative: “I see your point; however…” “Another way to look at it is…”

Mistake 4: No turn-taking control

Conversations collapse when people speak over each other or when one person dominates. Turn-taking makes the talk fair and organized.

Fix: Use turn-taking phrases: “Go ahead.” “After you.” “May I add…” then pause.

Quick self-check (before you submit/perform)

The buttons are optional helpers. Your real requirement is your map + micro-dialogue performance/readiness.

Exit task (2–3 minutes)

Write these two sentences on your paper/notebook:

  • One strategy I will use more intentionally is __________ because __________.
  • One politeness marker I will use to improve my tone is __________ because __________.
Recommendation: Choose a strategy that is hard for you. Improvement happens when you practice what you avoid.

Why this matters (real-life value)

Mapping strategies and politeness markers is not only for talk shows. This skill helps you in: interviews, recitations, group projects, reporting, student leadership, conflict resolution, and even family conversations. People who communicate well are not always the “smartest.” Often, they are the ones who can keep conversations clear and respectful.

When you can ask for clarification politely, you avoid misunderstandings. When you can disagree respectfully, you avoid fights. When you can summarize, you help your group move forward. These are real communication skills that matter beyond school.