CSC–COA–DBM Joint Circular No. 1, s. 2025: A Complete Guide for Government Agencies and Public Schools

You cannot control everything people say or do, but you can choose how to respond. Today, you will bring together what you learned about healthy relationships, calmness, and managing misunderstandings. You will examine realistic disagreements at home, in school, and online, then practise peaceful responses step by step. Using empathy, “I” statements, and clear boundaries, you will design your own action plans for future conflicts. By the end of the lesson, you will see that peaceful responses are not magic—they are skills you can learn, rehearse, and live out every day.

• Subject: Values Ed 8
• Grade: 8 (KS3)
• Day: 4 of 4

🎯 Learning Goals

By the end of the lesson, you will be able to:

1. Apply a clear step-by-step process to respond peacefully to at least four real-life disagreement scenarios.
2. Create respectful, calm dialogues using empathy, “I” statements, and appropriate boundaries in sample conflicts.
3. Develop a personal action plan describing how you will practise peaceful responses in one chosen relationship.

🧩 Key Ideas & Terms

• Peaceful response – a reaction that aims to solve a disagreement calmly, fairly, and respectfully.
• De-escalation – actions that cool down strong emotions and prevent a conflict from getting worse.
• Conflict style – your usual way of reacting in disagreements (for example, avoid, attack, or talk).
• Win–win solution – an agreement where both sides’ needs are respected as much as possible.
• Role-play – acting out a situation to practise better responses.
• Assertive – speaking up firmly and respectfully about your needs and boundaries.
• Passive – keeping quiet and hiding your feelings, even when you are hurt.
• Aggressive – expressing your needs by attacking, shouting, or disrespecting others.
• Compromise – an agreement in which each person gives up something and gains something.
• Action plan – a clear set of steps you decide to take in a real situation.

🔄 Quick Recall / Prior Knowledge

Before practising new responses, recall the tools you learned in the previous days.

1. Write the five-step path you learned yesterday for handling misunderstandings.
   Show Answer

   One version: Pause – Listen – Share – Clarify – Repair.

2. What is one benefit of using “I” statements instead of blaming sentences?
   Show Answer

   “I” statements express your feelings and needs without attacking the other person, so they are more likely to listen and less likely to become defensive.

3. Describe a calmness strategy you can use when you start to feel angry in a disagreement.
   Show Answer

   Sample: Pause for a few seconds, take deep breaths, silently remind yourself “Kalma lang,” then choose respectful words using Pause – Breathe – Speak.

📖 Explore the Lesson

These checkpoints will help you practising peaceful responses step by step. Use your notebook for short notes, dialogues, and action plans.

Checkpoint 1: Knowing Your Usual Conflict Style

Mini-goal: Identify how you normally react in disagreements.

Before you can change how you respond, you need to know your conflict style. Imagine three basic styles:

• Passive – you avoid the disagreement, stay quiet, or always say “ok lang” even when it is not okay. You protect others’ feelings but forget your own.
• Aggressive – you answer with shouting, hurtful words, or threats. You force your opinion, and the other person feels afraid or attacked.
• Assertive – you speak up calmly, using respectful words. You express your needs and listen to the other side. You aim for peace, not for “winning.”

Most people do not stay in only one style. You may be passive with parents, aggressive with siblings, and more assertive with friends. Your mood and level of stress can also change your style. The goal is not to judge yourself but to become aware so you can move toward more peaceful, assertive responses.

Think back to your last three disagreements. Did you walk away and say nothing? Did you shout or send angry messages? Or did you try to explain calmly? In your notebook, make a small table with three columns: Passive, Aggressive, Assertive. Under each, write examples of what you usually do.

Knowing your usual style is like looking in a mirror. Sometimes the mirror shows things we do not like, but it also gives us the chance to grow and choose new habits.

Mini-summary: You often react in familiar ways—passive, aggressive, or assertive—during disagreements. Becoming aware of your conflict style is the first step to choosing more peaceful responses.

• In most conflicts, which style do you use the most: passive, aggressive, or assertive?
  Show Answer

  Answers will vary. A helpful reflection might be: “I realise I am often passive with adults but aggressive with siblings; I want to practise more assertive responses.”

• How does your usual style affect your relationships in the long run?
  Show Answer

  Passive style can cause hidden anger and feeling unseen; aggressive style can damage trust and make others afraid; assertive style usually builds respect and clearer communication.

• Why is assertive communication the most peaceful style among the three?
  Show Answer

  Because assertiveness respects both your needs and the other person’s dignity, aiming for understanding instead of control or silence.

Checkpoint 2: Stop–Think–Choose: A Quick Peaceful Response Tool

Mini-goal: Practise a simple three-step tool for responding peacefully.

In a real disagreement, everything happens fast. You may feel attacked and react without thinking. To help yourself choose a peaceful response, you can use the simple tool: Stop – Think – Choose.

Stop. When you notice anger or hurt rising, pause your words and actions. You can lower your voice, look down for a moment, or even say, “Sandali, nagpapakalma lang ako.” This short stop signal gives you space.

Think. Ask yourself two quick questions: “Ano ba talaga ang nangyayari?” and “Ano ang magiging epekto pag sumigaw ako o nag-post ako ngayon?” Remember what you know about healthy relationships, calmness, and dignity. Think of at least one peaceful option.

Choose. Pick a response that respects both you and the other person. This might be asking a clarifying question, using an “I” statement, suggesting a time to talk later, or deciding to walk away and seek help. Choosing does not mean you are weak; it means you are leading yourself.

You can imagine a small traffic light in your mind: red for Stop, yellow for Think, green for Choose. With practice, this can become a habit you use in many situations—family disagreements, group work stress, or online arguments.

Mini-summary: Stop–Think–Choose is a quick tool that helps you pause, reflect on the situation and its possible consequences, and then select a peaceful, respectful response.

• In your last conflict, how would the outcome change if you had used Stop–Think–Choose?
  Show Answer

  Possible answers: fewer hurtful words, no embarrassing posts, quicker understanding, or keeping the friendship instead of creating distance.

• What could be your personal “stop signal” when you start to feel angry?
  Show Answer

  Examples: placing your hand on your chest, silently counting to ten, or taking one step back from the situation.

• Name one peaceful option you want to remember to “choose” next time.
  Show Answer

  Examples: asking a calm question, suggesting to talk in private, or saying “Pwede bang mag-usap tayo kapag kalmado na tayo pareho?”

Checkpoint 3: Peaceful Language Toolbox

Mini-goal: Build a toolbox of words and phrases that support peaceful responses.

Even when your heart wants peace, your mouth may still be used to harsh or sarcastic words. That is why it helps to build a peaceful language toolbox—phrases you can practise so they come out naturally in real disagreements.

Here are some examples of peaceful phrases:

• “Pwede ba nating pag-usapan ito nang maayos?”
• “Gusto kong pakinggan ang side mo.”
• “Nasaktan ako nang nangyari iyon, gusto kong ipaliwanag.”
• “Nalito ako sa message mo, pwede mo bang linawin?”
• “Pasensya na sa reaksyon ko kanina. Pwede bang magsimula ulit?”
• “Gusto kong makahanap tayo ng solusyon na fair sa ating dalawa.”

You can add more phrases in your notebook. Think of common conflicts you face: being teased, not being included, feeling blamed, or receiving low grades. For each one, write at least one peaceful sentence you can use.

Using peaceful language does not mean you are always “soft.” You can still be firm: “Ayoko na ng ganitong biro, masakit sa akin iyon,” or “Hindi ako papayag sa panlilinlang.” The difference is that you say it respectfully, without attacking the person’s dignity.

Mini-summary: Peaceful language is a set of practised phrases that help you express feelings, ask questions, and set boundaries calmly and respectfully.

• Which peaceful phrase from the list feels most natural for you to use?
  Show Answer

  Answers vary. Many students like phrases that start with “Nasaktan ako…” or “Nalito ako…” because they show honesty without attack.

• Create one peaceful sentence you can use when you feel excluded by friends.
  Show Answer

  Sample: “Nalulungkot ako kapag hindi niyo ako sinasama sa usapan. Sana maisama niyo rin ako minsan.”

• Why is it important to practise these phrases before a real conflict happens?
  Show Answer

  Because during conflict, it is hard to invent new words; practising ahead of time makes peaceful language more automatic when emotions are strong.

Checkpoint 4: Practising Scenarios at Home, School, and Online

Mini-goal: Apply peaceful responses to realistic disagreements in different settings.

Now it is time to practise. In your notebook, divide a page into three sections: Home, School, and Online. For each setting, read the sample scenario and design a peaceful response using Stop–Think–Choose and your language toolbox.

Home: Your younger sibling enters your room without knocking and uses your things without asking. You feel disrespected. Instead of shouting, you stop, think, and then say: “Na-o-offend ako kapag pumapasok ka nang hindi kumakatok at ginagamit ang gamit ko. Pwede bang kumatok at magpaalam ka muna?”

School: In a group activity, one classmate does not finish their part on time. You are tempted to embarrass them in front of the class. A peaceful response might be to talk privately: “Nahihirapan ka ba sa part mo? Pwede ba nating planuhin ulit para matapos natin nang maayos?”

Online: Someone reacts with a laughing emoji to your serious post. You feel insulted. Instead of answering with a harsh comment, you can message them: “Nalito ako sa reaction mo sa post ko. Seryoso yung shinare ko. Ano ba ang ibig sabihin nung laugh react?”

For each scenario, write a short dialogue showing the peaceful response. You can also create your own scenarios based on real situations you face. The more you practise, the more prepared you become for real life.

Mini-summary: By applying peaceful tools to specific home, school, and online scenarios, you train your mind and heart for real disagreements.

• In which setting (home, school, or online) was it hardest to design a peaceful response? Why?
  Show Answer

  Answers vary. Some find home hardest because emotions are stronger; others find online hardest because tone is unclear and many people are watching.

• How does talking privately instead of publicly help in school conflicts?
  Show Answer

  It avoids embarrassing the person, protects their dignity, and makes it easier for them to listen and cooperate.

• Why is asking, “Ano ba ang ibig sabihin nun?” useful in online misunderstandings?
  Show Answer

  Because it gives the person a chance to explain their reaction and may reveal that you misread their intention, preventing unnecessary anger.

Checkpoint 5: Looking for Win–Win Solutions

Mini-goal: Practise finding solutions that respect both sides’ needs.

Sometimes, peaceful responses still end with one person “winning” and the other feeling ignored. A better goal is to look for win–win solutions, where both sides’ important needs are considered.

For example, imagine you and a sibling both need the same gadget at night—one for homework, one for entertainment. A win–win solution might be to agree on a schedule: you use it first for homework, then they use it for games after, with a time limit. In this way, your need for schoolwork and their need for relaxation are both respected.

Win–win solutions often involve compromise: each person gives up something and gains something. The key is that the solution is agreed on calmly and feels fair to both. It is not win–win if one person secretly feels forced or afraid.

In your notebook, think of two disagreements you often face (for example, household chores, group roles, or weekend plans with friends). For each, list the needs of both sides and then design at least one possible win–win arrangement.

Mini-summary: Win–win solutions are peaceful agreements that balance the needs of both sides through respectful compromise and honest communication.

• Why is it not peaceful if only one person’s needs are always met in a relationship?
  Show Answer

  Because the other person may feel used, invisible, or resentful, which weakens trust and can lead to bigger conflicts later.

• In a conflict about chores at home, what might be a win–win solution?
  Show Answer

  Example: divide chores by schedule and strength (one washes dishes, the other sweeps), or alternate days so both help and both have rest time.

• Why is it important that both people freely agree to a solution, not just one “giving in” out of fear?
  Show Answer

  Because forced agreements do not heal the conflict; they can hide anger and may explode again in the future.

Checkpoint 6: Creating Your Personal Peaceful Response Plan

Mini-goal: Design a realistic plan for one relationship where you want to practise peaceful responses.

Now you will connect everything to your real life. Choose one relationship that sometimes has disagreements—maybe with a sibling, parent, classmate, or close friend. In your notebook, title a page “My Peaceful Response Plan for ______” (write the role, not the name).

Then, complete these steps:

1. Describe one common disagreement you have with this person (3–4 sentences).
2. Identify your usual conflict style in that situation (passive, aggressive, or assertive).
3. Write how you want to respond differently using Stop–Think–Choose.
4. List at least two peaceful phrases you will prepare for that situation.
5. Suggest one possible win–win solution you might offer.

Imagine the next time this disagreement happens. See yourself noticing your emotions, stopping, thinking about your values, and then choosing the new response you planned. You may not do it perfectly the first time, but every attempt is practice. You are training your character to be more patient, respectful, and caring in conflict.

Mini-summary: A personal peaceful response plan helps you get ready for real disagreements by deciding in advance how you will think, speak, and act.

• Which part of your peaceful response plan do you think will be hardest to do in real life?
  Show Answer

  Possible answers: stopping before reacting, using peaceful phrases instead of sarcasm, or suggesting a win–win solution instead of trying to “win.”

• How might your relationship change if you follow your plan consistently?
  Show Answer

  You may notice fewer long fights, more honest conversations, and increased trust and respect between you and the other person.

• What small reminder can you create to help you remember your plan during future disagreements?
  Show Answer

  Examples: a phrase on a notebook cover, a symbol drawn on your hand, or a wallpaper with the words “Stop–Think–Choose.”

💡 Example in Action

Study these worked examples. Each one shows a disagreement and a possible peaceful response.

1. Example 1 – Borrowed Without Permission
   Situation: Your classmate borrows your pen without asking and loses it. You feel disrespected.
   Peaceful response:
   Show Answer

   You Stop–Think–Choose. Then you say, “Na-offend ako nang hiramin mo yung ballpen ko nang hindi nagpapaalam, lalo na nung nawala pa. Gusto kong magpaalala na sa susunod, magpaalam ka muna. Pwede ba tayong mag-usap kung paano natin maaayos ito?”

2. Example 2 – Hurtful Comment from a Parent
   Situation: A parent says, “Wala kang mararating kung ganyan ka tamad.” You feel deeply hurt and discouraged.
   Peaceful response:
   Show Answer

   After calming down, you choose an “I” statement: “Ma, nasaktan talaga ako sa sinabi mo kagabi. Pakiramdam ko po wala nang tiwala sa akin. Gusto kong magbago sa pag-aaral, pero sana matulungan niyo rin akong ma-encourage kaysa masiraan ng loob.”

3. Example 3 – Being Left Out of a Group
   Situation: Your friends form a group for a project and do not invite you. You see their chat screenshots.
   Peaceful response:
   Show Answer

   You clarify first: “Napansin ko na may GC kayo para sa project at wala ako doon. Nalulungkot ako kasi feeling ko na-left out. Pwede bang malaman kung ano ang nangyari? Gusto ko ring makasama kung posible.”

4. Example 4 – Online Sarcasm
   Situation: A classmate comments under your post, “Wow, feeling expert.” Others react with laughing emojis.
   Peaceful response:
   Show Answer

   Instead of replying publicly with anger, you PM them: “Naiilang ako sa comment mo sa post ko. Parang binababa yung sinasabi ko. Gusto kong maintindihan kung biro lang ba iyon o may problema tayo.” You give them a chance to explain and adjust.

5. Example 5 – Group Task Time Conflict
   Situation: You want to work on a project at night; your partner can only work in the afternoon.
   Peaceful response:
   Show Answer

   You look for a win–win: “Alam kong busy ka sa gabi, at ako naman sa hapon. Pwede kaya na this week, ako muna sa research tapos sa hapon mo i-check, tapos sa weekend mag-VC tayo para sabay i-finalize?” Both time limits are considered and respected.

📝 Try It Out

Use your notebook for these practice items. Answers will help you prepare for real situations.

1. Briefly describe a disagreement you had in the last month. Identify whether your response was passive, aggressive, or assertive.
   Show Answer

   A complete answer names the situation and links your reaction to one conflict style, such as “I kept quiet even though I was hurt (passive)” or “I shouted and insulted them (aggressive).”

2. Rewrite your response from item 1 using Stop–Think–Choose. What would you do differently?
   Show Answer

   Your new response should include a pause, some reflection, and a more peaceful action such as asking a question, using “I” statements, or suggesting a calm talk.

3. List five peaceful phrases that you personally like and feel comfortable using in a disagreement.
   Show Answer

   Examples can be from the toolbox or your own words, as long as they are respectful and clear about feelings or needs.

4. Create a short dialogue (6–8 lines) between two classmates who disagree about group grades. Show how they move from blaming to peaceful problem-solving.
   Show Answer

   The dialogue should include listening, “I” statements, and at least one attempt at a win–win solution like sharing tasks differently next time.

5. Imagine a sibling or cousin keeps using your things without permission. Write one passive, one aggressive, and one assertive response you could give.
   Show Answer

   Passive: “Sige lang…” even if hurt. Aggressive: “Makapal mukha mo!” Assertive: “Ayoko na pong ginagamit mo yung gamit ko nang walang paalam. Pakiknock at magpaalam muna bago pumasok.”

6. Choose a common online conflict (for example, misunderstanding a comment). Write how you might reply if you do not stop to think. Then rewrite it using a peaceful reply.
   Show Answer

   The peaceful reply should avoid insults and include either a clarifying question or an “I” statement about how the comment made you feel.

7. For a disagreement about chores, list the needs of Person A and Person B. Then describe one possible win–win compromise.
   Show Answer

   A good answer shows you understand both sides (for example, “A needs time to study; B needs help at home”) and offers a fair schedule or division of tasks.

8. Write three “I” statements that you might actually use in your daily life.
   Show Answer

   Each “I” statement should follow a pattern like “I feel… when… because… I would like…” and remain respectful.

9. Describe one situation where walking away is the safest and most peaceful choice. How would you walk away while still respecting yourself and the other person?
   Show Answer

   Example: “When someone continues to insult me and refuses to calm down, I can say, ‘Mag-uusap na lang tayo kapag kalmado na tayo,’ then leave and seek help from an adult.”

10. Summarize your personal peaceful response plan in 4–5 sentences, including the relationship, usual conflict, and new response you want to practise.
    Show Answer

    Your summary should mention the person’s role (not name), the common problem, your chosen tools (Stop–Think–Choose, peaceful phrases, win–win ideas), and your hope for the relationship.

✅ Check Yourself

Use these check items to see how well you can think through peaceful responses.

1. Multiple-choice: Which reaction is most peaceful?
   a) “Lahat kayo, walang kwenta.”
   b) “Hindi ko na kayo kakausapin kahit kailan.”
   c) “Nasaktan ako sa nangyari, pwede ba nating pag-usapan nang maayos?”
   d) “Ipapahiya ko kayo sa social media.”
   Show Answer

   The most peaceful reaction is c).

2. Short answer: What does it mean to “de-escalate” a conflict?
   Show Answer

   To reduce the intensity of the conflict by calming emotions and making choices that prevent it from getting worse.

3. Multiple-choice: In the Stop–Think–Choose tool, which step helps you imagine the consequences of your reaction?
   a) Stop
   b) Think
   c) Choose
   d) None
   Show Answer

   The step that focuses on consequences is b) Think.

4. Short answer: Give an example of a peaceful “I” statement.
   Show Answer

   Example: “I feel hurt when my ideas are laughed at because it makes me feel small. I would like us to share feedback in a kinder way.”

5. Multiple-choice: Which pair best shows a win–win solution for two classmates wanting to use the same computer?
   a) One uses it all the time; the other never does.
   b) They shout until one gives up.
   c) They agree to divide the time fairly based on tasks and deadlines.
   d) They break the computer so no one can use it.
   Show Answer

   The win–win pair is c).

6. Short answer: Why is aggressive communication harmful, even when your point is correct?
   Show Answer

   Because shouting or insulting can damage the other person’s dignity and the relationship, making them less willing to listen or cooperate.

7. Multiple-choice: Which action best shows assertive communication?
   a) Remaining silent even when you are hurt.
   b) Screaming until the other person agrees.
   c) Calmly explaining how you feel and what you need, while listening to the other side.
   d) Making fun of the other person’s mistake.
   Show Answer

   The assertive action is c).

8. Short answer: How can peaceful language protect relationships during disagreements?
   Show Answer

   It allows difficult feelings to be expressed without humiliating or attacking, so trust and respect can be maintained while solving the problem.

9. Multiple-choice: When is it most appropriate to walk away from a conflict?
   a) When you are slightly annoyed.
   b) When the conflict becomes dangerous, abusive, or no one is willing to calm down.
   c) Every time someone disagrees with you.
   d) Whenever you feel lazy to talk.
   Show Answer

   The best choice is b).

10. Short answer: What is one sign that a peaceful solution truly feels “win–win” to both sides?
    Show Answer

    Both people can honestly say they feel respected and that the agreement is fair, even if each had to give up something.

11. Multiple-choice: Which response shows perspective-taking?
    a) “Wala akong pakialam kung pagod ka.”
    b) “Alam kong pagod ka, kaya siguro mainit ulo mo ngayon.”
    c) “Basta ako ang tama.”
    d) “Hindi na kita kakausapin.”
    Show Answer

    The response showing perspective-taking is b).

12. Short answer: Why is practising peaceful responses in role-plays helpful before real conflicts happen?
    Show Answer

    Because practice makes the skills feel more natural, so you are more likely to remember and use them when emotions are strong in real life.

13. Multiple-choice: Which goal best fits today’s lesson?
    a) Never experiencing disagreements again.
    b) Always winning arguments.
    c) Learning to respond to disagreements with respect, calmness, and care.
    d) Proving that others are wrong.
    Show Answer

    The correct goal is c).

14. Short answer: Write one short sentence that shows your personal commitment to more peaceful responses.
    Show Answer

    Example: “I choose to pause and speak respectfully, even when I feel hurt or angry.”

15. Reflection check: In 2–3 sentences, explain how practising peaceful responses can affect your family, your classroom, and your future community.
    Show Answer

    A thoughtful answer might say that peaceful responses reduce conflicts, build trust, create safer spaces, and prepare you to become a more responsible, caring citizen.

🚀 Go Further

If you want to continue growing in this area, try one or more of these extension activities.

1. Create a “Peace in Conflict” poster or digital slide with three key tips for peaceful responses, and share it with classmates or family.
   Show Answer

   Include short phrases like “Stop–Think–Choose,” “Use ‘I’ statements,” and “Look for win–win solutions,” plus simple drawings or symbols.

2. For one week, choose one relationship and observe every disagreement, big or small. At the end of the week, write a short reflection on how your responses changed and what still needs work.
   Show Answer

   Notice small improvements, such as fewer raised voices or more honest, calm talks, and celebrate each step of growth.

3. With a friend, create and act out three short conflict scenes (home, school, online) and record peaceful versions of each one for your own review (no public posting needed).
   Show Answer

   Watching the scenes again can help you see your body language and words, and think about what to improve.

4. Choose a quote or verse about peace, patience, or understanding. Write a short reflection about how this message connects to managing disagreements respectfully.
   Show Answer

   Focus on what the quote inspires you to do differently in your daily interactions with others.

5. Design a “personal peace code” with 5–7 short statements (for example, “I will listen first,” “I will not shame others online”). Post it in your room as a reminder of the person you want to be.
   Show Answer

   Review your peace code every month and update it as you grow and learn more about handling conflicts.

🔗 My Reflection

Notebook task: In 8–10 sentences, look back at the whole four-day lesson on relationships and misunderstandings.

• Which idea or tool (for example, calmness, “I” statements, Stop–Think–Choose, or win–win solutions) helped you the most? Why?
• Describe one real relationship where you have already used, or want to use, a peaceful response.
• What kind of person do you want to become when it comes to handling disagreements—with family, classmates, and your future community?
• Write one promise to yourself that you can check again at the end of the school year.

Lesson Sections

• 🎯 Learning Goals
• 🧩 Key Ideas & Terms
• 🔄 Quick Recall / Prior Knowledge
• 📖 Explore the Lesson
• 💡 Example in Action
• 📝 Try It Out
• ✅ Check Yourself
• 🚀 Go Further
• 🔗 My Reflection